[To protect the innocent, I shall name the person in this story after a Final Fantasy character. Fair warning, it's a period story. It's short, but I know enough of you will lose your ever-loving minds because we're talking about periods. I've been dealing with mine since the age of 14--trust me it's going to be okay. You won't die a horrible reading death because you read something about some random lady's period on the Internet. Most of us have them. Apparently men have them too, but that's for another time.]
I don't remember how the conversation came up, but all of a sudden Locke and I were talking about periods. Who understands them, who gets what they're like, who's been there. I guess I found it peculiar, considering how the sudden appearance of mine was handled during a very private moment. It didn't seem welcoming, and more like "ick, go take a shower now" type of thing. It was embarrassing! Especially the trek to Wally World at 3 AM to help with the sudden visit.
So Locke and I are talking, and he's giving me all these tales. It was about sudden visits, opinions on what a woman should do/should not during that time, smells, stains, and how to get rid of things. It got real in the period dialogue.
The major thing he was trying to passionately express was how long he's been dealing with women and their periods. The entire thing was like some kind of moment where I'm supposed to be 100% persuaded that he's the "period master", or something. I dunno. Not his words, just how I'm interpreting it. He was so sure of himself. I'm sitting there nodding, listening, and appreciating. It's great, he's new age, he's "not like other guys". If Aunt Flo decides to visit on a beige surface, we can scrub it out together. I'll leave pads, chocolate, and a change of draws and pants/shorts in the car. We get it, Locke. You know what to do, boo.
So, he says to me "men have periods too." Honestly, him telling me that always reminds me of the Dormtainment sketch, but okay, fine and good. We're in a space talking about respecting bodies, so if he says men have periods, men have periods. In a later conversation, I tell him it's not like the one a woman goes through with the bleeding, the cramping, and the constant prayers that you're not making stamp art or stinking up the joint. This pretty much opened the door for more passion, but what the heck. I figured being a part of the menstrual nation sort of gave me the right to defend the...deed.
"So because it's not like a woman's, it doesn't count? Are you trying to justify a woman's is worse?"
Ugggggggh.
My point was that even with 20 or 30+ years of helping clean up or shop for period happenings, you really don't know what it's like. Is it admirable that you don't act like a stark raving lunatic? Sure. Is it cool of you to not be a dick about it? Dude, that's super. If you know her comfort period foods, and you've got them locked in and memorized, you're the king. You are a mature, super cool, period-aware person. This is great, and we don't have to act like goofy teenagers in health class.
[Now before people throw stones at me, I also realize that Trans men may have periods too. As well as persons who are androgynous, agender, or any persons who identifying as one gender, but may have the biological parts of another. Obviously this is sensitive and complex, and as a cis-gendered person, I cannot/should not begin to comment on what they go through. Which is why I'm not, but I want to point out that when applicable, they have periods too.]
There is a difference between knowing/expecting the ups and downs of a period, and actually having one. Those of us who are on the period committee must go through BOTH sides of that. Those persons who're on the supporting team aren't going through that.
Unless you want to switch places, and do all the bleeding, cramping, and other bodily whatnots of the period-ing....you do not have a clue about what it's really like. Do I need to mention people who are on menopause? Obviously they knew what it was like. They're exempt and I'm looking at them like this right now....
Still, when Locke got so passionate about it, I kind of looked at him like he was nuts. Truly nuts! Were we really mildly disagreeing about....periods? I haven't been at it for long as he'd been contending with periods, but I had more physical experience--you know....actual things happening? Actual purchase and use of pads, tampons, and pain pills? The actual worries of smelling, making stains, and where to get plus-size period panties? That "sounds like a me problem". (He uses this phrase often.)
I wonder if Locke got where I was coming from. I at least hope he did. Of course it's admirable that he did all those things. I'll never knock that. I just kind of thought he was a bit...inflated about his role and his knowledge of periods. The kind of experience I was referring to had more to do with actually going through it, rather than being an outsider dealing with people going through it.
[ I am also aware that some women do not get them at all. I used to be like that. My periods were very irregular, but suddenly started to be back on a regular schedule once I turned 30. It's a struggle regardless, because periods and the dialogue about them is always either heated or suggested as something to be hush-hush about. Various cultures have their own frame of mind about periods, and I cannot judge them on that. All I know is that in America, it is split down the middle.]
Imagine if I rolled up on Locke's experiences as a man like that. My 31 tiny years of knowing men, but not really KNOWING what it's like to be a man--from feelings to functions. I'm sure Locke would think I'm off my rocker. (He already does, but that's because I like to be silly.) Granted I'm still on the fence about the Man-Period thing, I try not to overstep my boundaries to try and tell him about the physics of his existence.
What if I told him I knew everything about being a man? He really wouldn't like that, and would probably feel the same way I did during the period chat.
Alas, we are never discussing period experience again. All period talk shall be diminished to reference for knowledge purposes only.
I don't remember how the conversation came up, but all of a sudden Locke and I were talking about periods. Who understands them, who gets what they're like, who's been there. I guess I found it peculiar, considering how the sudden appearance of mine was handled during a very private moment. It didn't seem welcoming, and more like "ick, go take a shower now" type of thing. It was embarrassing! Especially the trek to Wally World at 3 AM to help with the sudden visit.
So Locke and I are talking, and he's giving me all these tales. It was about sudden visits, opinions on what a woman should do/should not during that time, smells, stains, and how to get rid of things. It got real in the period dialogue.
 |
| GO, GO PERIOD MASTERRRR! |
The major thing he was trying to passionately express was how long he's been dealing with women and their periods. The entire thing was like some kind of moment where I'm supposed to be 100% persuaded that he's the "period master", or something. I dunno. Not his words, just how I'm interpreting it. He was so sure of himself. I'm sitting there nodding, listening, and appreciating. It's great, he's new age, he's "not like other guys". If Aunt Flo decides to visit on a beige surface, we can scrub it out together. I'll leave pads, chocolate, and a change of draws and pants/shorts in the car. We get it, Locke. You know what to do, boo.
STILL.
LOCKE, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO PHYSICALLY BE ON YOUR PERIOD.
"So because it's not like a woman's, it doesn't count? Are you trying to justify a woman's is worse?"
Ugggggggh.
Locke. Missing the point, dude.
STILL.
STILL.
You do not know what it's like to have a woman's period.
There is a difference between knowing/expecting the ups and downs of a period, and actually having one. Those of us who are on the period committee must go through BOTH sides of that. Those persons who're on the supporting team aren't going through that.
Unless you want to switch places, and do all the bleeding, cramping, and other bodily whatnots of the period-ing....you do not have a clue about what it's really like. Do I need to mention people who are on menopause? Obviously they knew what it was like. They're exempt and I'm looking at them like this right now....
Darn you and your period-free ways.
I wonder if Locke got where I was coming from. I at least hope he did. Of course it's admirable that he did all those things. I'll never knock that. I just kind of thought he was a bit...inflated about his role and his knowledge of periods. The kind of experience I was referring to had more to do with actually going through it, rather than being an outsider dealing with people going through it.
[ I am also aware that some women do not get them at all. I used to be like that. My periods were very irregular, but suddenly started to be back on a regular schedule once I turned 30. It's a struggle regardless, because periods and the dialogue about them is always either heated or suggested as something to be hush-hush about. Various cultures have their own frame of mind about periods, and I cannot judge them on that. All I know is that in America, it is split down the middle.]
Imagine if I rolled up on Locke's experiences as a man like that. My 31 tiny years of knowing men, but not really KNOWING what it's like to be a man--from feelings to functions. I'm sure Locke would think I'm off my rocker. (He already does, but that's because I like to be silly.) Granted I'm still on the fence about the Man-Period thing, I try not to overstep my boundaries to try and tell him about the physics of his existence.
What if I told him I knew everything about being a man? He really wouldn't like that, and would probably feel the same way I did during the period chat.
Alas, we are never discussing period experience again. All period talk shall be diminished to reference for knowledge purposes only.
And a possible need for chocolate.
Am I mad at Locke? Do I hate him? Of course not. We disagree like rabid squirrels on a lot of things. I just thought it was interesting how he handled this particular situation. I haven't really thought of it much since it happened, aside from creating this blog post.
Locke is a sane, airtight individual who has my back like he's known me for 100 years. He's a wonderful person and I am glad he's in my life. He makes things a lot better, and much clearer. The "period thing" might sound like a big thing, but it was more of an observation/women and men are from different planets kind of thing.
As long as he doesn't touch my period snack stash, the world will keep on turnin'. Even if he does, he'll get pinched, and the world will keep on turning anyway.