Last entry, I was warbling about my jacked up teeth and how four of them needed to be removed. Two weeks later, I'm down three wisdom teeth, with one still in my mouth. My oral surgeon said it was too high up, and getting to it would be super invasive. He gave me the choice between removing 3 or 4, and of course I leapt at the opportunity to lower my bill and my pain. The price tag was...pricey, but it's not as bad as it could have been.
For some goofy Roni-based reason, I felt like it would make me feel better if I wore makeup, and if my outfit was purple themed. Granted the whole affair of prepping myself for oral surgery made me feel like a pretty ol' Bear Woman, I'm pretty sure the attendants didn't notice my delicate, purple eyeshadow. Or eyeliner. Or mascara.
Nobody did.
I need to blend better.
- Hashtag: #makeupfail.
- Hashtag: #RoniGotsNoEyeshadowGame.
- Hashtag: #MyMakeupIsALWAYSTerrible.
ANYWAY.
I arrived at Dr. Bobo's awesome office in Murray, KY, filled out paperwork, sat quietly, and make small talk with my aunt as I waited. I was nervous, but educated on the procedure. I spent weeks and weeks researching food and medicine. I looked up aftercare necessities, and prepped myself with everything from pillows to jello. Thinking of all the food I'd have to give up for three long weeks, I chanted in my head and looked forward to a pain-free experience.
Now, the night before, I was tossing and turning like a drug-free BEAST. I. Was. In. PAIN. Throbbing, aching, twingy, twitchy, there-is-a-bone-in-my-face-making-everything-HURT pain. I would wish this on no one, not even that guy who stiffed me on my Wii refund. Not my exes, not former friends, not even that guy I got into an e-fight with in BuzzFeed's comment section on YouTube. I was up from 2 AM until 1:50 PM with a face full of pain. I was READY to get the culprit and his future partners in crime outta my face. Literally. Bye teeth!
 |
| Mouth full of gauze and drool and blood. But still cute. |
When it ended, I didn't act like those loopy people you see on videos and stuff. I was a little off balance. I tried not to topple over the poor tiny blonde lady helping me walk. She led me to a waiting room, and I sat and mellowed out with a numb face full of gauze until she gave me the greenlight to go home.
Oh.
I kept my teeth because I'm weird and gross.
I just wanted to look at them. If you're curious enough, you can look at them too! Whee! Fair warning, blood. Lots of blood. Gross, bright red, fresh blood with tooth pieces.
After surgery, we came back home and picked up my delightful Percocet and other stuff from Walgreen's. I felt woozy, but I felt okay enough to be myself. No drugs were needed to be Roni. I acted a little silly, with a mouth full of gauze, blood, and drool. I had to. I wanted to ground myself for a while. I think my aunt thought the medicine was making me dance in the aisles, lol. When I got home, I popped a pill before taking my rest on my lovely bed of pillows, and read People Magazine, While Prince and Norah Jones helped me mellow out.
Fast forward to now.
(I actually wrote this about a week ago, and have actually been eating lots of hard and crunchy things since the start of this past week lol.)
I miss meat. I miss crunchy things. I miss things that require lots of chewing. I've upgraded a little bit from mostly soft foods, but I can't have anything super hard for another two weeks. I've been eating jello, pudding, yogurt, ice cream, and mashed potatoes for a full week. I snuck a piece of meat a few times, and paid for it. It was soft meat, but my tender mouth was like "dude, no. We're not ready." I've listened to Brak 900 times, thinking of all the good stuff I'm gonna eat when this is all behind me. (Hands up for Cartoon Planet tho! That was my SHOW.)
My pain factor hasn't been very high, save for a few throbs or mild pressure every now and then. Most of it is me talking too much or laughing too hard. Or smacking gum (I KNOW. SUE ME. ORAL FIXATION.), or just being Roni. After I pop an Aleve or Ibuprofen, it's all good. I've only had 2 of the 14 Percocet since the 8th. Mostly tenderness and a coppery taste, as I try NOT to bust these stitches or injure myself.
So...yeah.
(Note: I wrote this like the first week after my oral surgery. Again, I've been nomming on hard foods like the giant bear of a woman I am.)
(Note: I wrote this like the first week after my oral surgery. Again, I've been nomming on hard foods like the giant bear of a woman I am.)
I took it easy those first few days, because I was dizzy with tender mouth. Then I took it easier, because my body was protesting from not having meat. I'm feeling a little bit better, and I'm upgrading to soup this week. At least soup has STUFF in it. I LIKE STUFF!! As long as it's soft enough, I can have it. I'm thinking cream of everything.
Hopefully by my birthday, my face will be willing, ready, and able to eat things I like. I'm feelin some popcorn from Nuts on Clark, some chocolate covered Macadamia nuts, a big ol nasty burrito, some nachos, and my favorite--PIZZA. HUT. I'm also wanting Arby's meatball sandwich thing. I just....I just want all the things.
(And some lobster bisque from Omaha Steaks. That's my fancy uppah crust jam, baby.)
I'm just GLAD that one evil tooth is out of my mouth. No more getting up every six to eight dang hours to pop a pill JUST to survive the day. The other two weren't hurting, but were big enough to start their own oral war in time. It took THIS long for the one to start poppin. I'm DONE wit it, baby!
WOO.
I look forward to being able to eat harder foods again.
Especially Doritos.
Cool. Ranch.