Of course people are tired of "us" talking about you. The fact that we--I care so much speaks volumes of the impact you laid in the musical world. I won't use that stupid "T" word people have beat into the ground. I'll only say this--you broke the barriers. You invited everyone to the dance floor. You've been the DJ of many lives for years and years. You are important and wonderful, and the words "was" and "has" are still difficult to release from my tongue. While the tears may have dried up (with few breakdowns in-between music selections), the pain and the feeling of loss have not subsided. I don't think they ever will.
These days used to be different, and we all were secure, probably, with thoughts that you'd be here for a little longer, watching many appreciation numbers in honor of your legacy. While the videos and movies are nice, I still wish you were here in all your class and quirky behavior. You made this one Blerd weirdo feel like I had a right to be in this world.
I will hold fast to the idea that you have moved on to a better existence. Some kind of heaven or Nirvana, where all the greats are playing golden instruments and pain is a thing of the Earthly past. I will smile when I see you smile on recorded videos, rock when you play the chords that move my soul, and hopelessly dance around to the tunes that have filled various digital media objects since I got the hang of adding music. I will carry you everywhere in my life, because you became a part of it.
You are more than the shirts and jewelry I've collected over these years. So much more than the nearly-faded concert ticket I've been holding on to since I got back from the One Nite Alone show in Chicago. You are so much more than wild and supa clean fashions with kick ass shoes--although it didn't hurt to look at your fine physique and flawless hair--but you made it all look so good and so unique. You made a young Roni scream, and an older one learn how to be herself. Above all else--you inspired me to make my own art through writing.
You were so cool and influential, that today is not only your birthday, but it's #PrinceDay. Dig THAT! Social media blew up today. You trended for a minute! It was so great to get likes, but to also share outfits and feelings with other fans and appreciators. So, so much love. On this day, I decided to wear a pretty flower headband, put on some delicate purple eyeshadow, eyeliner, and wear my purple. My toes were purple, and so were my nails lol. I had on my symbol jewelry, and took the time to sort my iTunes folders. You now, FINALLY, have an authentic playlist, lol. Not just me clicking and searching like a yutz. I'm sad that it took you dying for me to get it together, but I DID, Prince. I did.
I will watch all the movies from Purple Rain to Graffiti Bridge tomorrow. I will groove to the Sign'O' The Times concert. June 7th is just the start! Every day is a purple party day. But on this day, you became part of the Earth. On THIS day, Ms. Mattie Shaw gave birth to a musical genius. On THIS day, John Nelson's son--PRINCE--came to be.
Yes, I miss you. Yes, I still don't feel like any of this is right, and yes--I just wish there were more time. Why isn't there ever enough time? Why must things be so sudden? Then I realized something--why wait? When does life wait for us? When do opportunities just fall in our laps to get sh*t right? We hear it over and over that our lives could end at any second, but we never really pay attention until somebody we care about--famous or otherwise--departs. Your departure was sudden and shocking, but an eye-opener. Your life was a prime example of what it means to keep going and never give up.
From 1977 to 2016, you worked. (Sooner than that. Hellooo. But the world was asleep while Minneapolis had the hookup since you picked up your first instrument!) You worked, you created jam after jam. You played your butt off whether we liked it or not. Prince, you have lived a million lives. Three million, according to my father. We all have to go sometime, and even though we still cry "too soon, too soon"...it was yours.
Your battle with chronic pain was understandable. I will never condemn you or turn my back on your legacy. I know you were no drug addict, but a person coping with daily pain that ached every nerve and muscle in your body. With a grandmother who suffers from her own hip and leg pain, I understand the agony full well. When it aches, you want what will stop the pain. The problem--doctors up dosages, not always solutions. People get sick and hooked on situations like that. Yes, they often abuse them--but many people just want to dull the pain. Many people are just trying to function, and either forget or overdo things.
I know that you worked hard. I know you wanted to please the people. Your fans will always love you for that. You tried and tried to balance both, but your body just couldn't juggle both. So, I believe you went to a place where pain was no longer an issue, and maybe we'll see you next lifetime.
I always listen to your music. Daily/hourly/just because. I'm sure I'm annoying everyone. My ringtone is FunkNRoll, my lock and home screen are pics of you, so I pretty much get to see you/hear you daily. Today is special, because it's your birthday, but tomorrow will be special too. You'll be there as I shower, as I blog, and probably as I walk up my street to get something bad to eat. You'll be there when I read a book, or finally go back to playing FF13. You are always in the mix, because you've got every part of my heart until death. Even then, I'll be in the afterlife with my mom, trying to attend your latest concert. It might be corny, but you're one of the few and special constant things in my life. I treasure the songs that tug at my heartstrings, and cherish the feelings that swell within. I will sing my jams--YOUR JAMS--with all my heart. I swear.
I just....
I just wanted to write you a letter. I want to keep coloring pictures of your symbol, collecting buttons...
Sigh!
I know it's on my little dog and pony show blog, but it was on my heart. We know part of what happened, and a bit of why--but we all love you for who you are, and know that no human being is perfect. I personally choose to celebrate your life. I might shed a tear, but I want to groove. I want to feel good about being a fan! I want to smile and put as much purple in my life as humanly possible. I want to make playlists and introduce people to your world. I want people to love you as I do. As long as I keep your memory alive, I think it's possible!
Prince--exes were jealous of my love for you. Family members think I'm nuts over you. Appreciators are always stopping me when I have gear on. It's been such a sad time, but it's also been this awesome time to be around other people. Even in death, you bring us all together. You've been uniting us and blowing our minds for well over 40+ years. How many artists can make that claim, with so many genres under their belts?
There is only one you, and you're the best ever.
Love you always and forever,
