First and foremost, I just want to celebrate the fact that I found a hat to fit my big head. Finding a cute,
slouchy-type hat has been a hassle for years. I either had to wear a fugly skull cap thing, or pin a hoodie to my head. It took about a month and a half, but I found this cute hat on Amazon that was 2 bucks and came all the way from Italy or somewhere. (It sounds fancy and important when I say that, like I got a designer accessory on my head.)
This was my look for Saturday; composed of a dress, earrings, and a sweater from Old Navy, with boots from Payless, and tights from this awesome plus size store on Amazon. For added fabulosity, I wore a neck scarf a wonderful tumblr user sent me last year. I'm here for animal prints, if you can't tell.
The dress was longer and a lot more loose than the preview pic said it would be. Reviews said it came pretty big, so I sized down. I dunno. It was cute-ish, but kinda bordered the "long black frock" line. I made do and bundled up. I was trying to look cute-ish for my meeting!
I took this thing so seriously, going into teacher prep mode with two hours of notes for something I assumed was an hour and thirty long. I had 30 minutes! It went by so quickly, and I was so nervous, having never facilitated any kind of religious study group in my life. The last time I was head of a real discussion, I was in my senior English class in high school discussing Song of Solomon!
I was kinda fumbling here and there, but apparently asked a really good question that sparked a conversation about bringing the best out of people. In the lesson for the month, the topics were about Kosen-Rufu Day, honoring/respecting one another, being courageous leaders, and encouraging others to unleash their unlimited potential.
When I started out writing my discussion notes, I had NO idea what I was going to write about. As I read, the ideas sort of formed, as well as the questions. I was bummed I didn't get to ask everything and discuss what I learned, but I ended up expressing my gratitude toward the other members that day with discussion, commentary, and connecting. It got deep, man.
After the meeting, the ladies fed me praised me not only for the great discussion, but also for my appointment as the YWD District Leader for Brainerd. They stroked my lil ego a bit, reminding me that my journey of leadership and growth was just beginning...but that it was already going in a great direction because I was absorbing Nichiren Buddhism. I know I am, but mainly because it speaks to me personally in a way that's kinda like...."where have you been all my life?"
Sunday started early, with the city coated in snow and yours truly working off four hours of sleep and a cuppa Meijer's coffee. This was some of that "pick you up at 8:17, be there at 9 AM" kinda stuff that just...wow. I am NOT a morning person, and having to go back to school at 10 AM is gonna be one helluva trip this April 8th. So, as the YWD District leader, going to mandatory meetings early most Sundays is gonna rock my foundation!
After grumbling about what I got myself into, I met up with Christopher and Bruce in Gohonzon Room 4. Early to rise to get my learn on about what this Buddhism is going to do for me! I surprised myself by getting up, half washing my face (I found out later ONE eye was clear, ONE eye still had freakin' makeup on it!) and getting out that door. This meeting was all about meeting some of the other YWD and YMD District Leaders, and starting the discussion of the book we're reading, called The Wisdom of The Lotus Sutra.
I got to talk to Christopher a bit, probably looking crazy trying to read his emotions. He kinda has this...stoic thing going on, but he was very receptive to my poem Bruce mentioned earlier. I had no idea I was "poetry girl", lol. Christopher does the poetry thing, too. Apparently the melancholic state of being a 20-something reflects the state of Buddhism as we try to find out who we are, why we are, and what can we do to change. I never really saw it that way, kinda falling into self-absorbed territory of "why does my life suck?" Bruce suggested I write in my poetry blog every day. A challenge, and I've yet to utilize it. He says, "don't waste one day of that talent." I couldn't remember the poem word for word (tacky, lol. It's MY poem!!!) but I ad-libbed and got props from Christopher. Cool. Christopher identified with the struggle of poetry retention and mutation, and we moved on.
For an hour or so, we got into the heart of understanding Buddhist principles such as owning up to situations in the world around us, states of consciousness (how the physical and mental work hand in hand, resulting in very baaaad decisions that leave us out of touch with reality, or very good ones that keep us grounded and aware...), and Human Revolution. We also talked about realizing and celebrating the greatness of those around us. We also got into depth about our "lesser self"--aka the "dark twin" that sort of gets into our head. The negative side. This is a concept I already knew of, but Bruce broke it down even more. The Lesser Self has the power to take us from reality when/if we listen to it.
This was my look for Saturday; composed of a dress, earrings, and a sweater from Old Navy, with boots from Payless, and tights from this awesome plus size store on Amazon. For added fabulosity, I wore a neck scarf a wonderful tumblr user sent me last year. I'm here for animal prints, if you can't tell.
The dress was longer and a lot more loose than the preview pic said it would be. Reviews said it came pretty big, so I sized down. I dunno. It was cute-ish, but kinda bordered the "long black frock" line. I made do and bundled up. I was trying to look cute-ish for my meeting!
I took this thing so seriously, going into teacher prep mode with two hours of notes for something I assumed was an hour and thirty long. I had 30 minutes! It went by so quickly, and I was so nervous, having never facilitated any kind of religious study group in my life. The last time I was head of a real discussion, I was in my senior English class in high school discussing Song of Solomon!
I was kinda fumbling here and there, but apparently asked a really good question that sparked a conversation about bringing the best out of people. In the lesson for the month, the topics were about Kosen-Rufu Day, honoring/respecting one another, being courageous leaders, and encouraging others to unleash their unlimited potential.
After the meeting, the ladies fed me praised me not only for the great discussion, but also for my appointment as the YWD District Leader for Brainerd. They stroked my lil ego a bit, reminding me that my journey of leadership and growth was just beginning...but that it was already going in a great direction because I was absorbing Nichiren Buddhism. I know I am, but mainly because it speaks to me personally in a way that's kinda like...."where have you been all my life?"
Sunday
Sunday started early, with the city coated in snow and yours truly working off four hours of sleep and a cuppa Meijer's coffee. This was some of that "pick you up at 8:17, be there at 9 AM" kinda stuff that just...wow. I am NOT a morning person, and having to go back to school at 10 AM is gonna be one helluva trip this April 8th. So, as the YWD District leader, going to mandatory meetings early most Sundays is gonna rock my foundation! After grumbling about what I got myself into, I met up with Christopher and Bruce in Gohonzon Room 4. Early to rise to get my learn on about what this Buddhism is going to do for me! I surprised myself by getting up, half washing my face (I found out later ONE eye was clear, ONE eye still had freakin' makeup on it!) and getting out that door. This meeting was all about meeting some of the other YWD and YMD District Leaders, and starting the discussion of the book we're reading, called The Wisdom of The Lotus Sutra.I got to talk to Christopher a bit, probably looking crazy trying to read his emotions. He kinda has this...stoic thing going on, but he was very receptive to my poem Bruce mentioned earlier. I had no idea I was "poetry girl", lol. Christopher does the poetry thing, too. Apparently the melancholic state of being a 20-something reflects the state of Buddhism as we try to find out who we are, why we are, and what can we do to change. I never really saw it that way, kinda falling into self-absorbed territory of "why does my life suck?" Bruce suggested I write in my poetry blog every day. A challenge, and I've yet to utilize it. He says, "don't waste one day of that talent." I couldn't remember the poem word for word (tacky, lol. It's MY poem!!!) but I ad-libbed and got props from Christopher. Cool. Christopher identified with the struggle of poetry retention and mutation, and we moved on.
Basically, it seemed like the lesson, the monthly discussion, and my discussion just went hand in hand. Again, I was able to relate with the other members. I was also able to get some wisdom from Bruce about what love is/isn't, how King Devil works (pretty much like the Christian Devil with issues of bringing compassion on his terms until you decide to find enlightenment or do right....then all...hell breaks loose...very deep stuff), and just....wow...he really broke it down.
As the weekend ended, I reflected on how my life would be changing. I know I'll be out the house more, going to school and going to the Center a lot more. I won't get overwhelmed before things begin, but I am feeling my usual blend of excited and scared. This is a lifelong journey and each thing is wrapped in the other. I know that I won't be the same person anymore, because I'll be on so many paths to begin with. On top of that, there's also the future work-study thing.
I think it has me shaken up a bit because in one of those roles, I have the title of "leader". I'm also being pushed out of my comfort zone, having to actually wake up early and expand my mind beyond the digital realms of games and social media. As a wallflower introvert, I'm not exactly the hop around "in-yo-face" type of person. But as I keep saying over and over, I'm the Lotus Flower pod trying to reach that surface to bloom. These new situations are small droplets into the ocean of my life.
This means a lot more than ideas for poems and filling my pockets full of daily necessities to get by. This means exposing myself to a world full of different people and new experiences. This means setting up a schedule that's far from the comfort zone I've nestled into. What happens next? Everything, probably.