The first step to letting the world know your passion is to find an outlet/outlets to showcase it and work on it. Anyone who knows me long enough (or visits one of my many pages), knows that my heart belongs to writing. Last week, I was volunteered to read some of my poetry at the next district meeting or family reunion for the SGI in Brainerd District.
My first thought-- "Oh GOODNESS, people are going to be hanging onto my every word!" I could have said no, but I sort of started a spark within my district with the impromptu poem I recited a few months ago. It was a spur of the moment piece that had no home nor existence outside of my mind. I was so nervous sitting there, all eyes on me. I was shaking inside, but the words flowed as if they belonged in the world. So I put them there. I shared my struggle through prose.
Maybe that's silly--wanting to be a writer, and having all kinds of issues with nervousness. Maybe it's silly being so old and being such an introvert. When it comes to presentations, I've always felt this way. Even when I knew what I was talking about, the fear was still there. It's not like my clothes are going to pop off or my glasses are going to melt off my face. I know, shame on me for thinking about all the bad things that could happen. What about the good?
This is a safe, warm, and encouraging community. These are people who are mellow, calm, and cool. They're Southsiders, just like me. They're interesting characters who all have this wonderful, confident glow about them. They're also honest people who are more than happy to cheer you on and show you the way. They're also the people who left me in charge of closing the meeting this last Saturday! They challenge me, but always have hands to hold me up in the process. If ever there were a group of people to share my work with, it would be them.
This is a challenge that I've made for myself. From the loving arms of the community to the rest of the poetic world. My nerves need to evolve into determination. How will anyone know what's in my head and my heart? How will I get better? How can I grow, if I'm still in the shell? These are the baby steps to take to make a difference. This, along with my chanting, is part of my human revolution. My poetry--no matter how golden or chintzy--must leave the pages at some point. I want to grow out of the "struggle topics" and broaden my horizons. I want to experience new things and talk about my life. It hasn't all been a flue ride spiraling into darkness!
In the spirit of the upcoming event, I've decided to write a happy poem about my feelings on Buddhism. It's simple, direct, themed, and comes straight from my heart. Bada-bing, bada-boom.