I was going to talk about "the thing that happened last night", but everyone and their mama is talking about the thing. I stopped really caring about the thing after I fell asleep watching Adult Swim. It was a thing, I thought it was tacky, everyone I know is either team "yes" or team "no". Moving on! :)
I want to talk about something positive that happened to me the other day. It's making me grin with this curled up smile on my face, because it was a real human moment. It was very spiritual and warm. It happened during an SGI meeting I had with Brainerd district. (Victory, victory Brainerd district!)
My neighbor, Nicole, is the one who introduced me to Buddhism when she saw me burying the love of my life, Mr. Ganymede Osiris. If anyone has seen my little blue joy, or has heard the story about him, you know how special he was to me. You'd also know how much it crushed my soul to lose him. This was also a turning point in my life where things were coming apart. Losing Ganymede was the rip that tore me apart.
Anyway, at the meeting, she asked the guests in the room why they keep coming back. If it was because we thought it was fun, if we just came because she called, or was it something more. Now, me being the shy little butterfly in the air-conditioned room, I was ready to wait and let somebody else tell their story. But I said "I'll go", and ended up going into slight detail as to why Nichiren Buddhism and the SGI members were becoming this force that I could not turn from.
"Because I need to work on myself", I said with a slightly soft voice. I went into detail about my procrastination, my lack of consistency, and how I admired the aspect of how this particular practice of Buddhism reflects that the action of one changes the world around them. How we are responsible for ourselves, and as we learned the other day "a sword is no good in the hands of a coward". I began to break it down and then BAM....
I made the district leader burst into tears!
This was after I began telling the story of how I felt like I was trying to "put things back together using wet paper as bricks", and even recited the poem I've been meaning to create. It tied in so well with the lesson of the greater and lesser self, that I guess it not only touched him, but the other leader as well. They both told their stories and eventually revealed how another member who lived on the West Side of Chicago rose above the odds. They divulged into the darknesses of their own lives as well, revealing moments when their lesser sides embraced the doubt. It was deep.
But then, John, the district leader who first shed tears told me that this li'l broke Millennial was the future. That with the gift of writing, I had a chance to speak to those in my city, in the youth group, anyone in general. I'm sitting there like "who me? A leader?" And he's telling me how I have the ability to lead, to show them why we're here as Millennials.
After the meeting, another member's wife is tapping in deeper, asking me that age-old question that I can fearlessly answer as soon as I see the question mark in my head--"do you want to be a writer?" Next thing I know, I'm talking to her about meeting a big-shot writer, talking to her about receiving my Gohonzon, getting that boost into the world that I need. I was so happy I decided to come out of the catbear cave.
It all started with Nicole calling me. I opened up to her about my social anxiety, and she understood. I asked her a few things, and pretty much laughed at myself. I needed to chant and hadn't been doing so. I've been noticing the drastic changes since. And, it isn't some magic fix-it-all, but the energy from chanting and putting in the work--it's hard work and it's not easy. But it's SO easy--just like we learned yesterday--to NOT do the work at all. And as I've done no work, I've watched aspects of my life just come undone before they have a chance. What can I fix by sitting on my butt or hiding in the corner? Not much.
So, here's this wonderful community full of people who do GREAT things. Here's this community of people who love and love each other. They support one another. They are mind-numbingly positive, but REAL. It's hilarious and refreshing, because you can see where they are true Southsiders, but at the same time they are calm about most things that would piss the average Chicagoan off and off some more. Their awakening and their Buddhahood is so wonderful to see and hear about. That's the power of the Daimoku.
Above all things, this pushes me to be consistent. This pushes me to have faith. This is going to work me to get out of my shell because here I am, laying impact on people 30 and 40 yrs my senior, in all my 28 years of life. Who knows, my time is coming. These angsty poems come from the pit of my heart and my happiness is in my hands. So, someday they will become happy poems.
Sunday was awesome, though.
I want to talk about something positive that happened to me the other day. It's making me grin with this curled up smile on my face, because it was a real human moment. It was very spiritual and warm. It happened during an SGI meeting I had with Brainerd district. (Victory, victory Brainerd district!)
My neighbor, Nicole, is the one who introduced me to Buddhism when she saw me burying the love of my life, Mr. Ganymede Osiris. If anyone has seen my little blue joy, or has heard the story about him, you know how special he was to me. You'd also know how much it crushed my soul to lose him. This was also a turning point in my life where things were coming apart. Losing Ganymede was the rip that tore me apart.
Anyway, at the meeting, she asked the guests in the room why they keep coming back. If it was because we thought it was fun, if we just came because she called, or was it something more. Now, me being the shy little butterfly in the air-conditioned room, I was ready to wait and let somebody else tell their story. But I said "I'll go", and ended up going into slight detail as to why Nichiren Buddhism and the SGI members were becoming this force that I could not turn from.
"Because I need to work on myself", I said with a slightly soft voice. I went into detail about my procrastination, my lack of consistency, and how I admired the aspect of how this particular practice of Buddhism reflects that the action of one changes the world around them. How we are responsible for ourselves, and as we learned the other day "a sword is no good in the hands of a coward". I began to break it down and then BAM....
I made the district leader burst into tears!
This was after I began telling the story of how I felt like I was trying to "put things back together using wet paper as bricks", and even recited the poem I've been meaning to create. It tied in so well with the lesson of the greater and lesser self, that I guess it not only touched him, but the other leader as well. They both told their stories and eventually revealed how another member who lived on the West Side of Chicago rose above the odds. They divulged into the darknesses of their own lives as well, revealing moments when their lesser sides embraced the doubt. It was deep.
But then, John, the district leader who first shed tears told me that this li'l broke Millennial was the future. That with the gift of writing, I had a chance to speak to those in my city, in the youth group, anyone in general. I'm sitting there like "who me? A leader?" And he's telling me how I have the ability to lead, to show them why we're here as Millennials.
After the meeting, another member's wife is tapping in deeper, asking me that age-old question that I can fearlessly answer as soon as I see the question mark in my head--"do you want to be a writer?" Next thing I know, I'm talking to her about meeting a big-shot writer, talking to her about receiving my Gohonzon, getting that boost into the world that I need. I was so happy I decided to come out of the catbear cave.
It all started with Nicole calling me. I opened up to her about my social anxiety, and she understood. I asked her a few things, and pretty much laughed at myself. I needed to chant and hadn't been doing so. I've been noticing the drastic changes since. And, it isn't some magic fix-it-all, but the energy from chanting and putting in the work--it's hard work and it's not easy. But it's SO easy--just like we learned yesterday--to NOT do the work at all. And as I've done no work, I've watched aspects of my life just come undone before they have a chance. What can I fix by sitting on my butt or hiding in the corner? Not much.
So, here's this wonderful community full of people who do GREAT things. Here's this community of people who love and love each other. They support one another. They are mind-numbingly positive, but REAL. It's hilarious and refreshing, because you can see where they are true Southsiders, but at the same time they are calm about most things that would piss the average Chicagoan off and off some more. Their awakening and their Buddhahood is so wonderful to see and hear about. That's the power of the Daimoku.
Above all things, this pushes me to be consistent. This pushes me to have faith. This is going to work me to get out of my shell because here I am, laying impact on people 30 and 40 yrs my senior, in all my 28 years of life. Who knows, my time is coming. These angsty poems come from the pit of my heart and my happiness is in my hands. So, someday they will become happy poems.
Sunday was awesome, though.