Okay, not the lottery. I didn't win any money, I'm still hella poor, and I'm still in my robe at noon sipping wacky tea flavors. However, I did finally get my chance to write an email for ListServe. Let me tell ya, I had a blast. (To get a quick rundown of what ListServe is all about, check out a previous entry, or go straight to the source.) I knew what I wanted to say, but still had to sit down and format it. I wanted to reach people without getting too heavy or trying to push my blog or the poetry book I self-published.
While I did end up referring to the blog and the book, there were no links involved. I just spoke from the heart, reflecting on the process of sharing myself, creating, and doing something I thought I'd never be able to accomplish on my own. I entitled the piece "Do It For Yourself". Here's what I wrote:
I've been reading nuggets of joy, nuggets of sadness, and nuggets of great information from fellow Listserver writers. I've pined and pined over my chance to find something to say. What would I say? Would I procrastinate, despite having 48 solid hours to come up with something? BAM. It hit me.
My dream is to be a great writer someday. I will either write a novel directed at women, or create books and books of poetry. I'd love to create something for women of color, specifically. However, I create all the time and hit writer's block quickly. While the dream hasn't died, I've shifted over to poetry. Poetry is rich, poetry is exciting, poetry is a diary entry--shortened. I've fallen madly in love with it--so much to the point where I've self-published a short body of work from the first half of a fake leather book I was given in 2008.
I challenged myself with the project. I named the file "Four Years", and decided that no matter what, I was doing this for myself. I wanted to prove that I could dedicate myself to something I loved. Unlike the many "darlings" rotting in my writing folder, this darling was going to live and grow. This was a "darling" that wasn't going to be killed.
I must admit that I had high, somewhat pretentious hopes about people buying my book. I made it available on Kindle and at CreateSpace, rambled about it on my tumblr page, and guess what? ONE person bought it. Overjoyed, I knew more people were coming. Well, they never did. Was I disappointed? A little bit. However, I was still high off the joy of completing something. I was high off something I'd done for myself. I reflected on the late nights I spent at my desk with coffee, music, and my own fingers dancing across the keyboard. I reflected on rushing home for my hard copy to review before the final print.
It wasn't about the money, the notoriety, or any kind of praise. I did it for myself. That's so important! Why? I was letting everything I could think of hold me back. I feared self publishing because of the negative commentary I read on a blog. I feared putting myself out there, anticipating ridicule. I'm not a master poet! I'm not going to poetry slams and reads. I'm a quiet woman who types from her room computer and iPod Touch when the muse rubs my noggin. My poems are strange little stanzas about my life. I get a like or two, you know? Nothing special.
However, I just want to close and say this--do it for yourself. No matter what it is, focus on the goal. Doing it for yourself means you're showing love for yourself. It means you're doing something for YOU. Sure, it might affect someone in your circle. It might improve the life of your family in the process, but we often forget ourselves in this life. We often feel like something is missing. So therefore, doing something for yourself is like giving yourself a great gift to grow from and learn from. So years from now, you can quietly (or noisily) say to yourself....
I DID IT FOR ME.
Love yourself endlessly. Be kind to yourself. Invest in the one relationship that determines how you treat others. Remember what RuPaul says--"If you can't love yourself, how in the heck you gonna love somebody else?" As you do for yourself, I'll be cheering for you. You can do it!
Love and light,
Roni
mzwilliams0830@gmail.com
Chicago, IL
Now, you betcha I was proud of that. I also assumed it was going to go into the background. I didn't think all those people were going to pay attention to the musings of a strange little writer-in-training. When the emails started to pour in with praise, I found out I was very, VERY wrong. There were screenwriters, motivational speakers, comedians, and even organic farmers off to Switzerland signing praises of my simple message. I was humbled. Once the attention died down, I put the remaining emails in a folder and marinated in my moment.
I had a chance to reach thousands of people with a point of view from the heart. I got short letters of thanks, long letters of appreciation, and so many people saying I inspired them. I kept saying to myself..."who me?" I get so caught up in wanting to be seen for my writing that I forget it's centrally about me. I want to grow from my writing. I want to be able to express and flow naturally. It's not always a perfect effort, but getting caught up in pleasing others robs the experience.
I'm glad I was finally chosen. I was able to take a reminder I constantly preach to myself outside of my brain, and into the world where others may need to hear it. Best feeling in the world, dontcha know. Just when I thought I'd never get a chance to touch people, I was able to sprinkle my itty bitty magic on quite a few. I highly suggest going to the site and signing up. There are a LOT of great people with something to share with the world.
While I did end up referring to the blog and the book, there were no links involved. I just spoke from the heart, reflecting on the process of sharing myself, creating, and doing something I thought I'd never be able to accomplish on my own. I entitled the piece "Do It For Yourself". Here's what I wrote:
I've been reading nuggets of joy, nuggets of sadness, and nuggets of great information from fellow Listserver writers. I've pined and pined over my chance to find something to say. What would I say? Would I procrastinate, despite having 48 solid hours to come up with something? BAM. It hit me.
My dream is to be a great writer someday. I will either write a novel directed at women, or create books and books of poetry. I'd love to create something for women of color, specifically. However, I create all the time and hit writer's block quickly. While the dream hasn't died, I've shifted over to poetry. Poetry is rich, poetry is exciting, poetry is a diary entry--shortened. I've fallen madly in love with it--so much to the point where I've self-published a short body of work from the first half of a fake leather book I was given in 2008.
I challenged myself with the project. I named the file "Four Years", and decided that no matter what, I was doing this for myself. I wanted to prove that I could dedicate myself to something I loved. Unlike the many "darlings" rotting in my writing folder, this darling was going to live and grow. This was a "darling" that wasn't going to be killed.
I must admit that I had high, somewhat pretentious hopes about people buying my book. I made it available on Kindle and at CreateSpace, rambled about it on my tumblr page, and guess what? ONE person bought it. Overjoyed, I knew more people were coming. Well, they never did. Was I disappointed? A little bit. However, I was still high off the joy of completing something. I was high off something I'd done for myself. I reflected on the late nights I spent at my desk with coffee, music, and my own fingers dancing across the keyboard. I reflected on rushing home for my hard copy to review before the final print.
It wasn't about the money, the notoriety, or any kind of praise. I did it for myself. That's so important! Why? I was letting everything I could think of hold me back. I feared self publishing because of the negative commentary I read on a blog. I feared putting myself out there, anticipating ridicule. I'm not a master poet! I'm not going to poetry slams and reads. I'm a quiet woman who types from her room computer and iPod Touch when the muse rubs my noggin. My poems are strange little stanzas about my life. I get a like or two, you know? Nothing special.
However, I just want to close and say this--do it for yourself. No matter what it is, focus on the goal. Doing it for yourself means you're showing love for yourself. It means you're doing something for YOU. Sure, it might affect someone in your circle. It might improve the life of your family in the process, but we often forget ourselves in this life. We often feel like something is missing. So therefore, doing something for yourself is like giving yourself a great gift to grow from and learn from. So years from now, you can quietly (or noisily) say to yourself....
I DID IT FOR ME.
Love yourself endlessly. Be kind to yourself. Invest in the one relationship that determines how you treat others. Remember what RuPaul says--"If you can't love yourself, how in the heck you gonna love somebody else?" As you do for yourself, I'll be cheering for you. You can do it!
Love and light,
Roni
mzwilliams0830@gmail.com
Chicago, IL
Now, you betcha I was proud of that. I also assumed it was going to go into the background. I didn't think all those people were going to pay attention to the musings of a strange little writer-in-training. When the emails started to pour in with praise, I found out I was very, VERY wrong. There were screenwriters, motivational speakers, comedians, and even organic farmers off to Switzerland signing praises of my simple message. I was humbled. Once the attention died down, I put the remaining emails in a folder and marinated in my moment.
I had a chance to reach thousands of people with a point of view from the heart. I got short letters of thanks, long letters of appreciation, and so many people saying I inspired them. I kept saying to myself..."who me?" I get so caught up in wanting to be seen for my writing that I forget it's centrally about me. I want to grow from my writing. I want to be able to express and flow naturally. It's not always a perfect effort, but getting caught up in pleasing others robs the experience.
I'm glad I was finally chosen. I was able to take a reminder I constantly preach to myself outside of my brain, and into the world where others may need to hear it. Best feeling in the world, dontcha know. Just when I thought I'd never get a chance to touch people, I was able to sprinkle my itty bitty magic on quite a few. I highly suggest going to the site and signing up. There are a LOT of great people with something to share with the world.