I pretty much back-tracked on my idea to write about Mother's Day this past Sunday. My heart really wasn't in the post, despite trying my best to be honest about my feelings on that particular day. It's really bittersweet to me only because of the commercialized aura behind it. It truly is irritating in the sense that every day should be about honoring mothers, not just one day. It also didn't help that my grandmother lives so far away and my own mother is somewhere in the clouds, looking down on her wacky offspring. It's just not the day for me. Selfish as it is, the day just brought up a lot of feelings that clouded my judgement for a moment. I know I'm blessed to have so many mothers and acting mothers in my life, so I'll leave it at that.
Meanwhile, the Bronchitis kicked my butt for much longer than before. I was bedridden for a lot longer than I would have liked, eventually having to find a "good day" to return to the Wellness Center for very expensive medicine. The APN just gave me a look of pity, suggesting I apply for Medicaid or some kind of medical discount. I can't say I disagree with her, facing having to purchase my own insurance or trying my best to keep on the job trail for health insurance. Sprinkle a smidge of being unable to breathe properly with family arguments, and you've got the past two weeks.
All is not lost. I finally got my air purifier, and that made everything MUCH better in my room as soon as I turned it on. It pains me to have such sensitive lungs and allergies, but at least I know what I'm dealing with. All I need is an affordable doctor who'll help me take it a step further. It's been a huge, frustrating ride of ups and downs, I tell ya. I was feeling good for a hot minute, then I relapsed. Days later, I'm feeling better again and hoping it stays that way. I'm tired of coughing and trying to decide whether or not I want to spend more money I barely have to keep myself alive. It almost makes me miss my crappy job at the grocery store.
Almost.
I keep promising myself once I get better than better, everything changes. I miss walking around the Dan Ryan Woods with my dad. I miss being able to eat local food. I miss peaceful, drug-free sleep. The one thing I truly miss--being wacky for no reason, dancing around the house like I'm in a Broadway production. It's the little things.
Meanwhile, the Bronchitis kicked my butt for much longer than before. I was bedridden for a lot longer than I would have liked, eventually having to find a "good day" to return to the Wellness Center for very expensive medicine. The APN just gave me a look of pity, suggesting I apply for Medicaid or some kind of medical discount. I can't say I disagree with her, facing having to purchase my own insurance or trying my best to keep on the job trail for health insurance. Sprinkle a smidge of being unable to breathe properly with family arguments, and you've got the past two weeks.
All is not lost. I finally got my air purifier, and that made everything MUCH better in my room as soon as I turned it on. It pains me to have such sensitive lungs and allergies, but at least I know what I'm dealing with. All I need is an affordable doctor who'll help me take it a step further. It's been a huge, frustrating ride of ups and downs, I tell ya. I was feeling good for a hot minute, then I relapsed. Days later, I'm feeling better again and hoping it stays that way. I'm tired of coughing and trying to decide whether or not I want to spend more money I barely have to keep myself alive. It almost makes me miss my crappy job at the grocery store.
Almost.
I keep promising myself once I get better than better, everything changes. I miss walking around the Dan Ryan Woods with my dad. I miss being able to eat local food. I miss peaceful, drug-free sleep. The one thing I truly miss--being wacky for no reason, dancing around the house like I'm in a Broadway production. It's the little things.