There's something about old retired men and Sam's Club that just seems to go hand in hand. Quite honestly, I think its a potentially bad situation. Sometimes an experiement goes well. Other times...ehhh....maybe it's good to stick to the regularly scheduled program.
I like grapes. I like 'em sweet, a little crunchy, minimal to no seeds, and in a variety of colors. I don't like it when they're mushy or tart or flat out gross. If it's healthy, it's gotta taste good. Do you know what it's like to be sitting around on a hot day chomping cool grapes and you sink your teeth into a sour one? Or how about alternating tastes? One is sour, one is sweet. The next three are sweet, but the rest of the bunch is sour. Good Lord, what kind of crap grapes did my family bring home from the market? Should I be shaking an angry fist at Disney, suggesting they stay in their lane and ride out of the fruit game? Or is this just a bad batch? Maybe it's a bad grape season or something. But wait...what makes a grape a "princess grape"? Do all of 'em taste like my batch? Goodness gracious, slap a princess on the plastic crate and send 'em off to the kids as a healthy snack. I can only imagine some bored little kid all grossed out and tossing these things in the air somewhere. Shouldn't Disney Princess Grapes taste...er...I dunno....100% sweet? And where's my cheesy, yet beautifully crafted big musical number? I might be pushing it a bit. Har har.
I realize that all grapes can't be perfect. But come on, when you've got three and a half bunches in a container from Sam's Club, you expect a little quality. No matter how long they've been in the store with the flies, the people, and the air, there shouldn't be a majority of bad grapes. I get that it's been a weather-insane year for fruit and produce and that not all fruit is going to be Springtime fresh. Still, there's something about these grapes that just wasn't right. The CRUNCHY ONES--and this means the ones that are usually ripe--were sour. Not sour like sour grape candy, not rotten sour, but.... noticeably sour. The kind of sour where you bite, taste, pause, look at the grape, and try again. THAT kind of sour. So I went online and did the usual limp-wrist search for Princess Grapes.
Disney cracks me up with the way they try and attract kids and parents like this with the labels. In any case, my first stop was at the company responsible for the distribution. They only had a dainty little intro about the Princess Grapes. "Eats very well" my foot! NEXT! I kept reading about how great these grapes were with the "muscat flavor", so I looked that up. That's just a fancy way of saving it's got good flavor for a table fruit or a sparkling wine. Blah blah. So who knows, maybe this was a bad bunch. I then re-located to a site called Mr. Grape to get more info. Okay, so now I know they're grown from June to July. Finally did some more looking. Turns out these grapes have been around since 1999. Not only that, but they have a touching history. A co-creator named them after his daughter. (Following quote taken from this article.)
" G Farms also has Princess grapes, which, when fully ripe, have a touch of the muscat aroma beloved by connoisseurs but are seedless, unlike traditional muscat varieties. The stand's sign calls them "Princess Melissa," whereby hangs a tale: Ron Tarailo of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, co-breeder of the variety, originally named it "Melissa" after his daughter, who died young; but Melissa's, the specialty produce company, objected, and he renamed it "Princess." "
Suddenly it was all there. This wasn't a ploy of Disney's to market on yet another "innovative" product. It was just basic marketing of a product already in rotation. It all started with a father wanting to perpetuate the memory of his daughter through a dainty fruit. Disney just partnered up with a company to have their own brand. These weren't fancy grapes, they surely weren't good grapes, but the idea behind them was pretty darn touching. We know them as Princess Grapes, but Mr. Tarailo know them as Melissa grapes. Maybe I'll try another crate.
I like grapes. I like 'em sweet, a little crunchy, minimal to no seeds, and in a variety of colors. I don't like it when they're mushy or tart or flat out gross. If it's healthy, it's gotta taste good. Do you know what it's like to be sitting around on a hot day chomping cool grapes and you sink your teeth into a sour one? Or how about alternating tastes? One is sour, one is sweet. The next three are sweet, but the rest of the bunch is sour. Good Lord, what kind of crap grapes did my family bring home from the market? Should I be shaking an angry fist at Disney, suggesting they stay in their lane and ride out of the fruit game? Or is this just a bad batch? Maybe it's a bad grape season or something. But wait...what makes a grape a "princess grape"? Do all of 'em taste like my batch? Goodness gracious, slap a princess on the plastic crate and send 'em off to the kids as a healthy snack. I can only imagine some bored little kid all grossed out and tossing these things in the air somewhere. Shouldn't Disney Princess Grapes taste...er...I dunno....100% sweet? And where's my cheesy, yet beautifully crafted big musical number? I might be pushing it a bit. Har har.
I realize that all grapes can't be perfect. But come on, when you've got three and a half bunches in a container from Sam's Club, you expect a little quality. No matter how long they've been in the store with the flies, the people, and the air, there shouldn't be a majority of bad grapes. I get that it's been a weather-insane year for fruit and produce and that not all fruit is going to be Springtime fresh. Still, there's something about these grapes that just wasn't right. The CRUNCHY ONES--and this means the ones that are usually ripe--were sour. Not sour like sour grape candy, not rotten sour, but.... noticeably sour. The kind of sour where you bite, taste, pause, look at the grape, and try again. THAT kind of sour. So I went online and did the usual limp-wrist search for Princess Grapes.
Disney cracks me up with the way they try and attract kids and parents like this with the labels. In any case, my first stop was at the company responsible for the distribution. They only had a dainty little intro about the Princess Grapes. "Eats very well" my foot! NEXT! I kept reading about how great these grapes were with the "muscat flavor", so I looked that up. That's just a fancy way of saving it's got good flavor for a table fruit or a sparkling wine. Blah blah. So who knows, maybe this was a bad bunch. I then re-located to a site called Mr. Grape to get more info. Okay, so now I know they're grown from June to July. Finally did some more looking. Turns out these grapes have been around since 1999. Not only that, but they have a touching history. A co-creator named them after his daughter. (Following quote taken from this article.)
" G Farms also has Princess grapes, which, when fully ripe, have a touch of the muscat aroma beloved by connoisseurs but are seedless, unlike traditional muscat varieties. The stand's sign calls them "Princess Melissa," whereby hangs a tale: Ron Tarailo of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, co-breeder of the variety, originally named it "Melissa" after his daughter, who died young; but Melissa's, the specialty produce company, objected, and he renamed it "Princess." "
Suddenly it was all there. This wasn't a ploy of Disney's to market on yet another "innovative" product. It was just basic marketing of a product already in rotation. It all started with a father wanting to perpetuate the memory of his daughter through a dainty fruit. Disney just partnered up with a company to have their own brand. These weren't fancy grapes, they surely weren't good grapes, but the idea behind them was pretty darn touching. We know them as Princess Grapes, but Mr. Tarailo know them as Melissa grapes. Maybe I'll try another crate.