I know a lot of people expected it. I know a lot of people don't care, thinking she was less of a person for various reasons. As a fan of her music, it STILL hurt to come home and find out she was found dead in her apartment. It broke my heart because I truly hoped she'd fight and come out clean and ready to record again. I have been off and online all day long, lurking, replying, and just seeing things from both sides. There are a lot of people out there who think they're extra cool for being snide. There's nothing I can do about stupidity, but I WILL express how I feel.
There was nothing sub-par about Miss Winehouse to me. I heard the sounds of music I'd grown up with all my life. I heard modern-day sounds mixed in with 60s ballads and coffee-house vibes. When I listened to Amy, chills ran up my spine. Suddenly, I had the power to forget ex-boyfriends. I had the power to do anything I wanted. I was cool by myself as long as Amy crooned in my ears. There was something about her voice that blinded me for just a small moment in time. She took me to places in my head, I guess you could say.
Yes, we all know about her drug and alcohol addictions. We all know about her stints with husband Blake, about her missed shows, about almost every little controversy hidden in her tall bee-hived and b-flowered hair with those oh-so-slick painted up cat eyes. We watched her on beaches, in the street, and in her house singing silly, but controversial songs about racial slurs. She was a very imperfect person who lived a long, hard life. While we all can assume what happened, I just feel like maybe her body just couldn't take any more pain. We don't know everything that went on in her life. I just hate that people have to make so many ugly comments and jokes about her. Or that they're so upset that she's in the 27 club. But alas, this is the Internet. You cannot stop millions of people from saying the things they've said. As a fan, I will only say nice things. I loved Amy the musician, not Amy the addict. I simply felt sorrow for her and hoped things would change. I know that sounds ugly. It's harsh. How can I be a fan, if I don't love all sides of her? To me, that's the side that kept her talent away from us. It's not to be uncaring and not give a thought to her suffering. It's frustration. It's also not knowing every detail.
As my Internet friend Kyrie just told me, rehab is not the end. You just can't get over addictions just like that. People do re-lapse, and sometimes they just do not come out of situations such as these. Sometimes, sadly, they do die. I'm pretty sure people were on the death watch, which is why so many people aren't shocked. In my rose-tinted innocence, I truly hoped she would no succumb to that which controlled her. Sometimes the world can be too much.
I have been listening to her music all day long and plan to do so again later on tonight. For some of us, it is a shock. For the rest, it was bound to happen. I wonder how all the people in this world who enabled her or left her side feel. A single picture of her is shrouded in black and white on her website.
Rest in Peace, Amy.
Here is a song of hers that I absolutely adore.
Yes, we all know about her drug and alcohol addictions. We all know about her stints with husband Blake, about her missed shows, about almost every little controversy hidden in her tall bee-hived and b-flowered hair with those oh-so-slick painted up cat eyes. We watched her on beaches, in the street, and in her house singing silly, but controversial songs about racial slurs. She was a very imperfect person who lived a long, hard life. While we all can assume what happened, I just feel like maybe her body just couldn't take any more pain. We don't know everything that went on in her life. I just hate that people have to make so many ugly comments and jokes about her. Or that they're so upset that she's in the 27 club. But alas, this is the Internet. You cannot stop millions of people from saying the things they've said. As a fan, I will only say nice things. I loved Amy the musician, not Amy the addict. I simply felt sorrow for her and hoped things would change. I know that sounds ugly. It's harsh. How can I be a fan, if I don't love all sides of her? To me, that's the side that kept her talent away from us. It's not to be uncaring and not give a thought to her suffering. It's frustration. It's also not knowing every detail.
As my Internet friend Kyrie just told me, rehab is not the end. You just can't get over addictions just like that. People do re-lapse, and sometimes they just do not come out of situations such as these. Sometimes, sadly, they do die. I'm pretty sure people were on the death watch, which is why so many people aren't shocked. In my rose-tinted innocence, I truly hoped she would no succumb to that which controlled her. Sometimes the world can be too much.
I have been listening to her music all day long and plan to do so again later on tonight. For some of us, it is a shock. For the rest, it was bound to happen. I wonder how all the people in this world who enabled her or left her side feel. A single picture of her is shrouded in black and white on her website.
Rest in Peace, Amy.
Here is a song of hers that I absolutely adore.