Wilton Cookie Press, thou mockest me!

  This time, I should have listened to the reviews. This is what you get when you click around at 2 in the morning for a cookie press. While I don't hate the thing, I'm none too fond of it. Wilton Cookie Press, you mock and laugh from your new lair in the kitchen. Here is my story....

It mocks me. >. > *shakes fist at it*

  The cookie press is not my friend. The video did noting for me. I went into the kitchen all smug and cool thinking I had it down. I had my dough ready, my cookie press in hand, filled it up and....whoosh woosh. No click, no dough coming out. Just this-- woosh woosh. What...the....f..... *sigh*

First Batch--Baked

Final Batch--Raw

  The first batch came out ugly(I refused to take a picture of that batch un-baked!). Baked it and they puffed up. The second batch was severely mediocre. The final batch was all right, but very few cookies came out as their intended shapes--hearts. The entire time, I'm staring at the dough and sweating like a jiggly old hog in the Chi-town heat of the kitchen. I'm muttering to myself feeling crazy for buying the thing. Oh, it was a mistake. There is no denying that. Since I spent the rest of my gift card incentives getting it, I sort of thought I had a good deal. I have so much to learn about this thing. Apparently there's some kind of hidden magic science of the clicking, the pressing, and the filling. I probably would have better results with a cheaper, smaller model. Or, one of those play-doh things for kids. Ultra facepalm I tells ya. All a dame wanted to do was bake some cookies, press them out like the recipe called for, and end things!

How lovely...*growl*

  Well, I suppose I could have tweaked some things in the recipe. It called for the dough to sit for ten minutes. I left it to sit for 15 in the fridge. Once that dough proved to be wonky, I put some more in the press and set it in the fridge. Things weren't as slippery, but they were still messy.  In the end, only a small collection of cookies looked like hearts. I tried everything from lessening the amount of dough, to pressing down to the middle and not all the way at the top. So it could have been a number of things--the recipe, my manipulation of the machine, or even if I had a defective model. In the spirit of kitchen gadgets, the show must go on. I will be getting another cookie press. In the meantime, I'll do my best to work with this one. Just take note, fellow bakers--when the reviews for a cookie press go 12 positive-13 negative, take it as a sign. RUN!